Day Ten

I have to confess to a deep-seated fear I hold. With every little ache and pain I feel (and being sick this week, there have been a few), I fear that this diet won't work. I'm afraid, not just that it will fail, but that in the process of failing, it will discourage you, my readers, from making whatever diet modifications you might need to heal.

I never expected this to take off quite like it has. This blog is at over 1100 page views in just a week, from places like Mexico, Ireland, Sweden, New Zealand, Australia, Malta,Singapore, Italy, Germany, UK, Canada, and of course, the US. I feel a responsibility to all of you that has caught me by surprise. I'm not just doing this me anymore, and that's good, it keeps me accountable. Knowing I have to blog about has helped me resist temptation. I don't want to let you down.

At the same time, I have to keep in mind why I'm doing this. I'm doing this for me and for my health. So while it feels really good to know that you're watching and possibly finding inspiration in these posts, it's absolutely mandatory that I be honest about the bad as well as the good. So far, except for this nasty virus that seems to be lingering on (although slowly improving), the news has been good. It's been very good in fact. Almost miraculous -- which is why it makes me nervous.

I'm trying to temper my excitement about the results as in the past that when I tried something new, I would get excited thinking I'd found a cure, then the symptoms would creep back in one-by-one as my body adjusted to the new way of being. I hope that will not happen, but that is the hidden fear I feel with every twinge and every sneeze. But I remind myself that, in the end, if I'm able to alleviate even some of my symptoms, this process will have been a success. And I have spent my first itch free week in over a decade. That alone is worth celebrating.

I'm not trying to be a downer, but these posts are, first and foremost, my journal laid out for the whole world (literally) to see. Please don't be discouraged by what I have written in this post, I'm just trying to keep my expectations realistic. It is obvious that something or things that I was eating was causing problems, this diet has already been successful in pointing that out to me. I totally encourage each of you to take the guidelines I've developed (or create your own), adapt it for your own needs and give it a shot.

On a different note, and just something to think about, someone on another board asked today about the causes of anxiety. It occurred to me, going back to my post about the book "Survival of the Sickest" and talking about how certain bacteria and viruses change the behavior of the carrier to facilitate their own survival. I have to wonder if the bad bacteria or some virus in our digestive system triggers that anxiety. Because if you think about the average person who is not dealing with these issues or is not aware of the connection it has to food, their typical response to anxiety is often to reach for comfort food -- all those foods that trigger reactions. Like a vicious circle.

For dinner today, I baked a sweet potato, added some of the pork roast from last night, then I melted down a bit of the sorbet from last nights dessert and poured it over the top. It was very filling. I have a bit of pork still left, since dinner was so early, I know I'll be hungry again later. I plan to use up the rest of the pork in a lettuce wrap.

While I don't have any heartburn or itching, I do notice a little bit of bloating and a couple of small cramps. I have only been eating once or twice a day, so my portions have been possibly too large. I need to break up my meals and eat a bit at a time, wait a couple hours and eat a bit more. I will try that and see if it helps before I make any diet modifications.